News
04/02/2010 12:02:00
Tipping
… no, not the sort where you dump an ancient sofa at the roadside. I mean the passing of a sum of money to someone who is supposed to have given you good service.
Without doubt women are no use at tipping. We sit in the back of a taxi
searching noisily in purses and handbags for money for the fare and the
tip! What should it be? We whisper, cogitate and calculate and clasp
the money in a hot and sweaty hand for the duration of the journey.
Then the driver lifts out the bags with an ill grace (not in Orkney, of
course) and you wish you had never tipped in the first place.
Men can do it so much better. They sit in the front passenger seat,
haul out a wallet from a back pocket at the last minute and the
transaction is completed without fuss. They don't have handbags
(usually) to rake around it; and they don't seem to operate with sweaty
paws at the idea of it.
I've watched men tip hotel porters and the money changes from one to
the other with surprising sleight of hand. Of course they look as if
they are just about to shake hands with the person, which a woman
wouldn't normally do.
I don't mind giving extra money for really good work, but it's this
idea that you're expected to tip no matter what, that gets me. The
custom of tipping is well established in the UK, but it is surrounded
by a miasma of uncertainties. How much and when are the questions to
ask. I have no idea of the answers. We might think that 10% is the
correct amount but, if only a small service has been performed, is it
worth anyone's while? Do you put the money into the hand or leave it
strategically on the top of a nearby surface?
Then there's room service where you can't enjoy the idea of decadently
having food in your room until the delivery has actually taken place
and the tip has been handed over. Yet not long ago there was this nice
waiter who delivered our soup and sandwiches and said, "No, no, I don't
need any money for that." I nearly kissed him. More often the person is
already waiting with outstretched hand.
Meantime a restaurant bill that leaves a space for the diner to add a
service amount to the credit card total sends me dulally. I leave any
tip on the table instead.
The other main personage to worry about in this country is the hotel
concierge. I've always found them to be extremely helpful, but they
look so imposing. It's quite impossible for me to hand this tall,
top-hatted creature a small tip. He'd probably pick me up and shake me.
There is also the knotty problem as to whether you tip your
hairdresser, or not. The question is, is it for the hairdresser or for
the girl who shampooed your hair. I've no idea, but because I love
having my hair done, I always leave a tip. You see? There's no logic in
my thinking at all.
Then there's guilt. I suffer pangs when I don't tip and wonder if I've
done the wrong thing. I bet most women are the same as me. Sometimes,
when the taxi journey, for example is not very long, I over compensate
and give more money than is necessary; still no logic.
The UK has a really complicated culture when it comes to tipping.
You're never really sure what you should be doing. This, however, is
not the case in other countries.
In Australia and New Zealand, tipping is not the norm. They'd probably
be insulted if you tried to offer a waiter or waitress a tip. This is
so easy. You go out to eat and don't have to worry or look at the bill
for hidden extras, or calculate 15% of the total.
Cross the ocean to America and you really have come to a different
land. Tipping is obligatory. If you've set aside a sum for your holiday
in the Big Apple, just double your spending money for tips. Hold the
door open for you, it's a dollar; lift a bag for you for two seconds,
it's a dollar; actually take it to the room for you, it's two dollars.
Why do you think this should be in the richest country in the world?
Well, if you go online some travel sites will tell you that America's
minimum wage is very low, indeed much lower than ours. But - and
there's a big but - they must make ten times their low wage in tips.
You're expected to give at least 15% of the total of a restaurant bill
and dollars disappear like snow off a dyke when it comes to hotel
tipping.
When we were sampling a sail round New York harbour and looking at a
distant view of the Statue of Liberty shrouded in scaffolding, some
chap on board gave a commentary on the sights during the boat trip. At
the end he hoped we had enjoyed his talk, and then waxed lyrical about
how much he needed tips and asked for us to be 'especially generous'
towards him. It was so embarrassing. It put me right off and I was
determined not to give him a single dime. There were so many passengers
on that boat he must have made a small fortune - unless, like me, they
all took umbrage.
Of course things don't work quite the same in the opposite direction.
For example, a huge contractor's bill arrives. You screw up your
courage to say, 'I'm never late with my payments to you, may I have a
discount?' Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't - but the stress
and increase in blood pressure is simply not worth it.