News
Womanly Wiles by I Venus
05/03/2010 08:44:00
Who's set off the fire alarm?
LAST month I was writing about tipping for service, especially in hotels. That's made me consider some rules of etiquette we could try to follow when on holiday.
In case you think that I'm rolling in cash and off on holiday every
other week, let me reassure you. I'm not loaded; I just don't smoke or
drink, so all my treats end up in being holiday travel. I think that's
allowed.
There's a lot to be learned from short journeys round the globe and I'd like to share some of these with you.
Take dinner out for starters, if you'll pardon the pun. Some hotels do
give you an idea of what they want for dress in the restaurant. They
may say, 'please wear a tie', or 'dress is smart/casual', whatever that
means. I would say that just about anything goes, although I do draw
the line at working boots and anoraks; nothing wrong with them in their
place i.e. on a building site, but not for dinner with strangers.
Men in shorts and heavy sandals at breakfast time do rather take the
appetite away. However, too stringent a dress policy can be
counter-productive. Who would go to an hotel that requires the guests
to dress up to the nines for tea at four in the afternoon?
I've heard a lot about the dining arrangements on cruises in the
Mediterranean, but I've never sampled these wonderful menus myself. It
seems that passengers do have to make an effort on board ship and wear
formal attire for the evening meal.
But it's not just the hotel dining room where you need to be on the qui
vive. Sharing a room with a relative on holiday does also demand a set
of rules that are generally unspoken. The place must be divided up
equally so that each person has space for makeup, toiletries, brushes
and the like. Also, it's only good manners not to read until three in
the morning whilst the other person is trying to sleep with a search
light in their eyes.
Some people have no idea of politeness or etiquette, especially when
they've had a drink too many. Once upon a time we stopped for a single
night at a large hotel in Leeds. Unfortunately for every guest there,
there was also a football team in residence. In the middle of the night
the fire bells were set off, a terrific clanging noise. We fell out of
bed terrified out of our wits and ran about like headless chickens;
then shivered outside until the all-clear was given. It turned out that
one of the footballers had set off the alarm deliberately; some hoax.
That little episode has taught me to always check the escape lay-out on
the back of the bedroom door. This may smack of paranoia, but believe
you me it's wise to know where your nearest exit is in relation to your
room. I now skulk along corridors inspecting emergency fire escapes
before I've even unpacked.
This brings us to etiquette to do with noise and the need to 'do as you
would be done by'. There are plenty disturbances to keep you awake on
your holiday without the unnecessary ones. Dogs in Portugal generally
give vent to barking all night long; if you're next to the air
conditioning plant, the roar of the engine at regular intervals can be
like living in a railway station. Most guests really don't need more
auditory stimulus. A party in your room at three in the morning is
likely to bring down the wroth of every other resident in the place;
and rightly so.
One could almost envy the hard of hearing, but my worry is that those
who take their hearing aid out at night may never hear the fire bells.
(I hope they let reception know about their disability - or have a
holiday companion who has unimpaired ears.)
Plenty of hotels have a gymnasium and/or a beach at the bottom of the
property. Now what is the etiquette? Do you pile into the lift wearing
little other than a bikini and a bathrobe on your way to the beach?
Frankly it's a bit crowded in an elevator. You feel decidedly
under-dressed and slightly ridiculous in such a small space.
Equally do you go to the gymnasium in shorts and tee shirt? That would
seem to be all very well. However, on your return you may be decidedly
sweaty and yucky so that's another problem. And whilst in the gym, you
should try not to hog certain machines. It ought to be like the Picky
Centre here, where the maxim is 'Don't be too long on the cardio
apparatus if the gym is busy'.
But holiday etiquette stretches far beyond the hotel. You can't go on
the Continent without visiting the beautiful churches, and when in
Rome, 'do as the Romans do'. The guides ask that arms and legs are
covered up before going into the sanctuary. Aside from that, it's also
good manners to leave heavy rucksacks and back packs in the entryway.
It really doesn't look good to be wandering round a lovely old church,
banging into people with a load of walking boots and sticks.
Then there's the entry to cafés in order to get a loo. Am I the only
woman who can never find a public lavatory on the Continent? Yet you
can't just wander into a café and ask to use the facilities. Oh no, you
must needs order coffee (which you don't need and which will inevitably
act as a diuretic in the not too distant future) before sneaking
through to use a dubious toilet. There are never enough public rest
rooms - as the Americans euphemistically call them - for women in Latin
countries.
With that most basic of needs, I've reached the end of my particular
list of etiquette rules. Perhaps you have different requirements?